guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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