Dual....:-)
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
