I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
