woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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