were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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