So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
