remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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