i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
