Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
