woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
