I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
