Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
