Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
