FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Randomize
