Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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