It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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