Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
