She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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