question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
