I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
