I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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