you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
