So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I need moral support for this bender
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
