ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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