12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
