I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
