I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
