the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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