I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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