my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
