I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
