She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
