i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
