so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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