Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
