Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
