He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
