shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Houston, we have a squirter
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
try to milk me bitch
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
