Your mouth is God's brothel.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
how does that bad decision feel?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
