Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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