Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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