please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
