Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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