i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
