You're my little dorito
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
