So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
