with your own penis?
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
false alarm. still invincible.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Randomize
