so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
