I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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