I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
