Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
