I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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