It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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